The story always starts the same—I think he’s different from other guys and I fall. Granted, this time was harder, longer, and farther than most, but it always starts like this. Inevitably I’ve found that they’re never different. What is different this time is how I am choosing to deal with it.
He no longer has my permission to objectify me. I will no longer beg for attention from someone who clearly wants no kind of relationship with me—friendship or otherwise. I’m worth more than that, and if he can’t see it, he’s clearly not as smart as I thought he was.
So maybe he is different. I’ve never been hurt on that level before. Deep down I think I knew all the others were assholes, but I always gave him the benefit of the doubt. I didn’t think someone who had been such a great friend for years would intentionally hurt me. But he did. Maybe because I allowed it to happen. So from now on, it’s no longer okay to objectify me for ANY reason.
I realize this means a lot for me, also. Others couldn’t objectify me if I didn’t initially objectify myself. I’ve cut all ties to relationships that I think are unhealthy and destructive for me and I will (re)learn to trust my instincts and listen to my friends. I do think there are men in the world who are different than the ones I’ve encountered. I do not think I have any chance of being with one if I continue to allow others to use me.
In conclusion, fuck you, and thank you. And never contact me again.
— Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning